Spirituality Column #765

July 13, 2021

Common Christianity / Uncommon Commentary

‘That Summer Before He Died…’

By Bob Walters

When John Samples said he could marry us either “tomorrow” or not for another month (see last week’s column), Pam and I prepared for a wedding “tomorrow,” June 22, 2009.

After church we went to the nearby Von Maur store to find a pretty summer dress for Pam, all the while notifying family and close friends of our suddenly pending nuptials.

It was Sunday, and we were to be married late Monday afternoon at East 91^st Street Christian Church in the small chapel next to the Fireside Room where, incidentally, for years there hung a beautiful painting of our beloved late pastor Russ and Marian Blowers.

On totally short notice, Pam’s sister Coleen couldn’t make it down from Detroit.  My brother Joe – a boat captain in far northern Wisconsin – happened to be ashore and jumped in his car for Indianapolis.  Big sister Linda was in Tucson, too far away.  Both of my sons were out of state working summer jobs unable to come back, but Pam’s daughter Lauren was Maid of Honor and son Jason walked his mom down the aisle.  Joe, my life’s wingman, was Best Man.

By early Sunday afternoon Pam’s dress was bought and our very small cast of wedding characters was assembled.  Joe arrived midday Monday and drove Pam and me downtown to get our license. On our way back north we picked up wedding rings, Pam then feverishly made beautiful fresh flower bouquets for herself and Lauren (of course she did), we got cleaned up, and headed to church.

We figured we would have a proper “reception” later on in August (we did), but the wedding, at first, was just us.  Then Pam’s longtime church life group got involved, then my close friends George Bebawi and Stan Naraine and their wives (May and Janie) – plus my old high school pal Sharon Job Hoffman – came along side, and we wound up with about 25 at the actual wedding.  Stan had us all over to his place for an impromptu cookout afterwards.  It was awesome.

But there was a secret Pam withheld from me until we started writing our vows that hectic Sunday afternoon.  It stands not only as one of the greatest surprises of my life but was the centerpiece of our wedding ceremony.  Fancy vows wouldn’t be necessary.

“There’s something I’ve never told you …” Pam said, smiling. Me: (gulp) “Okay ….”

Turns out that summer before Russ Blowers died in November 2007, Pam had run into him one afternoon at the Castleton Christian book store on 82^nd Street.  One-on-one time with Russ was precious and they sat on a bench between rows of books for most of an hour chatting about Pam’s “little family,” church friends, and Russ’s recent June trip with his sons to Normandy.  Russ just naturally added the Lord’s joy, always. He endearingly referred to Pam, who played tympani in the E91 orchestra, as his “drummer girl.”

At our wedding almost exactly two years later, the “homily” was Pam’s daughter Lauren reading aloud this charming story with its surprise ending.  As they parted that summer day in 2007, Russ said to Pam, “I have a special friend I’m going to introduce you to when I think the time is right.”

Pam never so much as hinted that when I approached her at Russ’s funeral, she recognized me as the guy “who always sat with Russ.”  Three days later on Sunday when we spoke, Pam was convinced I was the friend Russ was talking about … but she never let on to me until the day before we were to be married.

Russ knew both our situations, Pam’s and mine, and knew my situation well enough not to prod me, not then, about a new relationship.  But Russ knew when the timing would be right.

I’m convinced meeting Pam at Russ’s funeral was not so random after all.

Russ set us up that summer before he died, and kept his promise in November.

Walters (rlwcom@aol.com) would have freaked out had he known this earlier.

 Spirituality Column #764

July 6, 2021

Common Christianity / Uncommon Commentary

‘How About Tomorrow?’

By Bob Walters

After meeting Pam at long-time, beloved E91 pastor Russ Blowers’ funeral on a Thursday (see last week’s column #763, scroll below), we next spoke after that Sunday’s church service.

As mentioned last week, our E91 church in 2007 was huge.  Pam and I attended the same weekly service for probably five years but had never met.  Needing help informing the music ministry about Russ’s online tribute website (Russ Stories link), I recognized Pam from both the orchestra and the choir; a female drummer who was also a six-foot tall blond alto in the choir line was hard to miss.

I wasn’t “looking for her,” specifically.  But when I saw her outside the sanctuary about an hour before the funeral – she was to play tympani with the brass ensemble and I was a pall bearer – I approached, introduced myself, and asked for help passing the word about the Russ tribute site.  It was a quick, concise, and pleasant exchange … but maybe not as random or “chance” as it seemed at the time.

I say we still hadn’t actually “met” because at the funeral there was neither the time nor, understandably, the inclination for small talk.  But Sunday was different. 

After Sunday’s service Pam found me – I always sat near the front a few rows back on the right side, usually with Russ – and said she had emailed the tribute site info to the choir and orchestra members and it was well-received. Mission accomplished.

Chatting in the pews up near the pipe organ console, and in no particular order, we discovered of each other that we both adored Russ, she was an English teacher and I was a writer, that we both had strong (and fond) multi-generational vacation roots in northern Michigan, that we had graduated high school the same year (she near Grand Rapids, Mich., me in Kokomo, Ind.), she was a life-long Christian, a preacher’s kid (PK), and had been at E91 for 27 years, while I was a newbie, baptized at E91 Nov. 18, 2001.

Oh, did I mention that the Sunday when we “met” was Nov. 18, 2007?

We also learned we each had two mostly-grown kids from long-term marriages that had each, ironically enough, ended in May of 2005 with uncontested divorces.  We also learned that each of us had ongoing challenges (family, work, etc.) but we became fast friends and married a year and a half later, Monday, June 22, 2009.

Why a Monday?  Well, we have dear friend and retired pastor John Samples to thank for that one.  I had popped the question to Pam three days earlier on Friday, June 19, just before we headed over to the annual E91 music ministry end-of-season dinner.  Pam had been in the choir and orchestra for nearly 30 years so it became an especially great party for us with dear friends who all cheered, “It’s about time!”   

We were not planning a long engagement, and for logistical reasons marrying “sooner” would be far better than “later.”  Sunday, June 21, at church we approached John about scheduling a time to marry us in the coming weeks.  He pulled out his date book, frowned, and said that starting Tuesday of that week the next several weeks were full of travel and he was otherwise booked.  He just didn’t see how he could work it in.

Then he smiled, looked up at us and said, “How about tomorrow?”

Walters (rlwcom@aol.com) needs one more week to tell this story properly.  There was still a huge Russ-related and not-random surprise Pam was not telling Bob.  

666 - Secret Meaning