Monday, January 29, 2018
585 - Dearly Beloved ...
Spirituality Column #585
January 30, 2018
Common Christianity / Uncommon Commentary
Dearly Beloved …
By Bob Walters
“Take my wife …
please!” – Henny Youngman
Let’s look
at a routine marriage relationship and hold it up to the contrasting light of a
personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
These
relationships – with one’s spouse and with one’s Lord – really should be pretty
similar in nature; a hand-in-glove type fit.
But so often these critical bonds are more like mismatched boxing
gloves. Cultural and church assumptions
for the one routinely conflict with the cultural and church teachings of the
other. Taking the Bible’s cue, they
should be more alike and work together; we’d all be happier.
If you ever
wondered where the template for a proper “wedding ceremony” is in the Bible,
don’t bother looking. It’s not there. Marriages and weddings are mentioned often in
scripture, but it’s more like they are assumed and observed, not described and dissected. If you read closely, you’ll note biblical marriage
is a game of one-on-one: a man and a woman – anything other than that is
assumed and observed as sin. Case in
point: Solomon’s 700 wives, etc., were not God’s sign of Solomon’s wealth and
stature but a worldly sign of Solomon’s sin.
The woman at the well? Not
married. Sin.
Never mind
for now what the Bible does and doesn’t say specifically about marriage and,
less relevant here, sexuality. What the
Holy Spirit is trying to tell us in scripture is how things will go best with
humanity per God’s design in our relationships.
“Love God and love others” isn’t just the commandment of Jesus; it is
the best of all possible advice for 1) glorifying God and 2) peacefully getting
along with others.
Christians
regularly march to the tune of the Ten Commandments: Thou Shall and Thou Shalt
Not. Fine; it’s good to have
guardrails. But the temptation of fallen
humans is to add and add and add commandments – rules – fashioning a list of
holy fulfillment parameters. Then we
judge each other, deceiving ourselves by mistaking self-righteous, sinful pride
for holiness. That’s what the Pharisees
did; Jesus hated it.
Any
relationship that is a list of rules is a system, not love. Systems and programs, by design, create enforceable
power structures and judgments. A love
relationship is a very different animal; it seeks to forgive with selflessness,
sacrifice, sharing, mercy, and intrinsic trust; all in humility and without
guardrails. Lord knows, fallen humanity
needs the guardrails; but absolute freedom is the key to absolute love.
And that is
the model – the truth – of relationship with Jesus Christ.
Still, how
many Christian pulpits preach the wrath of God, eternal condemnation, the shame
of sin, the burden of obedience, fear, and three points of application til next
week? Well … lots, because it creates a
system of control. Suppose we came home
at the end of each day to a spouse whose “love” modeled that pulpit? Yuck.
A disaster.
No, I
assume and trust my wife’s love, patience, mercy, forgiveness – i.e., grace – with
no illusions about her capacity for wrath, either. So don’t cite a list of frightening rules and
call it Godly relationship; give me the loving Jesus model I see at home.
Like Mr.
Youngman said, “Take my wife.” And praise the Lord.
Walters (rlwcom@aol.com) is no marriage expert, but trusts Jesus. Amen.
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